The Book of Blessings
Blessed are You, Hauser, our God, King of the Universe, by whose word everything comes to be.
Blessed are You, Hauser, our God, King of the Universe, who sanctifies us through His commandments, DX Listening Digest and World of Radio.
Blessed are You, Hauser, our God, King of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the earth, the pistachio, the Pringle, the toast-on-a-stick, the Smokehouse Almond, the Meijer house brand generic pork and beans, the Humpty Dumpty salt and vinegar potato chips, the Laura Secord French Mint candy bar, all liquid beverages containing caffeine and all liquid beverages containing alcohol.
Blessed are You, Hauser, our God, King of the Universe, who creates the tree through which we string antennas.
Blessed are You, Hauser, our God, King of the Universe, who creates variety of reception conditions.
And Blessed are You, Hauser, our God, King of the Universe, who sustains us with Universal Shortwave, Radio Shack and Radio World.
Blessed are Universal and the Barb that guides them.
Blessed are the cracked, for it is they who let in the light.
Blessed be the beverage, for it is closer to the station.
Blessed are the trees of the land, for they allow thine antennae to riseth above the snowmobilers.
Blessed are those who use their slings not for smotng, but for hoisting of dipoles.
Blessed are the primitive, for they shun the use of generators.
Blessed is the annex, for it serves as a final resting place for the fruit of the earth.