The Book of Hans
[1]
Thou shalt offer up logs to no other Gawd than Der Hans. If thou
post logs unto other scribes, thou shat be banished unto the Flevo
tribe in the Nether Lands. If thou post the word of Hans unto other
scribes, thou shalt be visited in the night by a large burley man,
who willst flayleth upon your countenance with a whip antenna.
[2]
If thou speakest nasty about Der Hans, the tribe of Pyong shall
descend upon your house and yang all over thine equipment, and thy
key shalt be silent for a firkin.
[3]
Taketh not the name of Der Hans in vain, lest the People of
Betar come into your house and bang your Desh.
[4]
When Der Hans speaketh, payeth attention for they are words
inspired by Divine, the Portly One.
[5]
Speaketh not what thou hast heard from Der Hans unless Der
Hans granteth the Sacred Permission, lest a host of Burkinas
descend upon you and Faso all over thine countenance. If the
Sacred Permission be granted by the Central People's B.S., sing
praises unto the Valkos, and sacrifice a weasel in the name of
Der Hans.
[6]
Sweat not the petty things, but whenever thine has a chance,
pet the sweaty things. Yea verily!
[7]
Know ye the signs of the coming of the Anti-Hans. The DX Elite
shall lie with the List Logger; the Barbi shall preach unto the
masses; the stations of Tennessee shall air the olden tunes of
rama-lama-ding-dong-shoo-bop-de-bop; and Pakistan shall QSL.