Genesis Chapter 20
[1]
And lo, Saint Barbara, who dwells in the Land of Reynoldsburg and
lyeth with Fred, went unto the Land of Enid to receive the Word of
Glenn.
[2]
The Lord Glenn gave unto Saint Barbara the Law by which all should
conduct thyself and find guidance when seeking the elusive DX. The Lord
Glenn gave unto Saint Barbara the fifteen Laws written on three tablets
of stone.
[3]
Upon returning from the Land of Enid, Saint Barbara droppethed one
of the tablets onto the I of 44 and brokethed it into smithereenies.
Thus we have the Most Holy Ten:
[4]
You shall have no other Glenns before me. If thou hast any Glenns
after me, please telleth me not.
[5]
You shall not make for yourself a graven image, or any likeness of
anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or
that is in the water under the earth, unless the aforementioned graven
image be used to adorn a gross but tasteful QSL epistle, or posteth it
on thine website with ass of wise captions.
[6]
You shall not take the name of the Lord your Glenn in vain; for the
Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain. Those
who take the name of Glenn in vain may call upon the Angel Hans for
forgiveness and cudos, and may then dwell in the Land of Cumbre.
[7]
Remember the sabbath hours, to keep them holy. The sabbath hours
begin one hour before the sun riseth to one hour after the sun riseth,
and one hour before the sun setteth to oe hour after the sun setteth.
The sabbath hours may be known by the arrival of the Holy Angel Arnold.
Twenty hours shalt thy do all those things thou must do; eatething,
pissething, shittething, fartething, sleepthing, etceth.
[8]
Honor thy father and thy mother, for if they had not shared bodily
fluids, thou wouldst not be here.
[9]
You shall not kill the mood of the room by emittething a good one;
thou shall not kill a top-of-the hour ID opportunity by emittething a
good one; and thou shalt not kill the appetites of the assembled
worshippers by emittething a good one during the Holy Time to Cook.
[10]
You shall not commit adultery, except as in 13 below. If thou
commitest adultery, taketh pictures.
[11]
You shall not steal adapters.
[12]
You shall not bear false witness by logging a station, by only
looking in the Holy Passport. Thou shalt not bear false witness in
reception reports using the phrases, Commentaries were very informative, or
I really enjoyed your music.
[13]
You shall not covet your neighbor's equipment, you shall not covet
your neighbor's wife unless she be comely as hell, or his manservant
unless you're into that sort of thing, or his maidservant (see wife),
or his ox unless you're into that sort of thing, or his ass (see
manservant), or his antenna poker. or anything that is your neighbor's
unless he be away and not using it.