The Gospel of St. Puter
[1]
In the Beginning, in ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader
by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the
name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and
long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. She said unto
Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with
thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
[2]
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags
short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied,
"I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send
messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you
which hath the best price.
[3]
And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's
Pony Stable (UPS). Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot
have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate
success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without
ever moving from his tent.
[4]
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret
himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading.
[5]
And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy
horsefly take to horse flesh. And, before very long, there were many
others and They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican
Siderites, or NERDS for short.
[6]
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and
the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches
were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought
up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making
drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drum
sticks.
[7]
Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken
over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel,
(or as it came to be known "eBay") he said, "we need a name that
reflects what we are," and Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner
Operators." "YAHOO", said Abraham. And that is how it all began. It
wasn't Al Gore after all.