THE GREAT BLANDX ELECTION DEBATE

Bill Rumbley: All DXers need to know that Sven Gonzalez is soft on list-logging. If he is elected, you won't be able to believe anything you read in BLANDX! Unlike Sven, I proudly wear my BLANDX lapel pin everywhere I go, even in the shower.

BLANDX is the preeminent DX Club - the world's only super club - and I intend to keep it that way. Under my leadership, we will proactively seek out and destroy potential list-loggers and those that might support them. Mandatory urine-sampling is a small price to pay to keep the riff-raff from contributing to our sacred DX publication.

Sven Gonzalez: As Director of the Eastern Maryland DX Association in the 1990s, Bill Rumbley had a zero-tolerance policy towards incorrect information. After infractions as simple as making a typographical error in their loggings, over 500 Maryland DXers were sent to Bill's secret detention centers on Baffin Island. EMDXA Security Services coerced DX clubs in numerous countries to participate in a program of monitoring reception reports from DXers around the world, creating dossiers of thousands of DXers - which are still in Bill's basement!

I've got the guts to be premeir without having to make you pee in a bottle. Remember how in 1997 I went to the Union of Exiled Ugandan DX Clubs convention and they threw broken tubes and ground rods at me?

Bill Rumbley: First, I want to remind Sven that at the Ugandan event he was actually met by virgins who scattered flower petals in his path. Odd that he forgot as he paid for that himself.

And, they'll be plenty left-over for earmarks for special funding of regional branch club projects because I'll just borrow the money. I look forward to the day when we owe every bank in the world money! Deficit spending by the club is the hallmark of true fiscal responsibility, since it allows our members to keep more of their own money.

Sven Gonzalez: How will the next generation of BLANDXers afford to buy IRCs if we continue to finance BLANDX by borrowing money from Asian DX Clubs? If Bill Rumbley gets his way, BLANDX will soon be published in Chinese and we'll pay our dues in Yen!

I prefer returning to the status-quo of the 1980s and 1990s, where we charge everyone the same fair price, but give special price breaks to our more priviledged members. What could be fairer than letting average DXers subsidize fees for people like me?

Bill Rumbley: If Sven and his environmental nuts are allowed to take over BLANDX, they will outlaw DXpeditions because of the possible harm caused to woodland creatures. I believe in our God-given right to erect beverage antennas using razor-wire in any habitat. What are a couple of dead squirrels or a crippled deer compared to the joy of DXing on the deadliest beverage antenna known to man?

Also, Sven's secret plan to give a Super Bleene 555 Receiver to every DXer in Bangladesh will break our club. What kind of policy is it to give away things to those less fortunate than you? If God wanted us to give things to poor people, he would have put a commandment in an HCJB program schedule.

Sven Gonzalez: Once again, Bill Rumbley is totally miscontruing my positions. I do not plan to ban razor-wire beverage antennas. I simply believe that, as a safety precaution, DXers should be required to attach biodegradable bright orange plastic ribbons every two meters for the entire length of all types of wire antennas. It's the least we can do to alert wildlife (and overly amourous teenagers) of the potential danger.

As to extremists, let's not forget that the winner will help appoint new members to the BLANDX Country List Committee. Bill has a secret agreement with the League of Extremely Patriotic DXers to only appoint people who support overturning the 1976 Overseas States Decision, which will remove Alaska and Hawaii from the BLANDX Country List. I, on the other hand, will only appoint DXers who support making each U.S. state and Canadian province a distinct radio country.

Bill Rumbley: Sven has a secret plan to socialize QSL collecting. If he gets his way, DXers who have verified more than 125 countries will have to give some of their QSLs to worthless DXers who are too cheap to spend thousands of dollars collecting pieces of paper.

Sven Gonzalez: As usual, Bill is totally misrepresenting what I plan to do. I have no plans to take actual QSLs away from anyone. Instead, DXers who have verified over 125 countries could only list 100 countries verified in their totals. The excess countries would be added to the totals of a less fortunate DXer so that he can feel better about himself.

Sven Gonzalez: Vote for me and there'll be a can of beanie-weenies in every DX shack.