BLANDX CORPORATE MISSION AND VISION STATEMENT

MISSION AND VISION STATEMENT

OUR MISSION

To maximize profits without regard to good taste, public perceptions, or ethical, legal, and moral concerns.

OUR VISION

We envision a future in which our executives receive extraordinary pay raises and bonuses, without connection to job performance, corporate profits (or lack thereof), or any of the myriad of scandals they are surely involved in.

We envision a future where political leaders worldwide proudly display the BLANDX logo tatooed on their posteriors as a sign of their fealty to our corporate sponsorship.

We envision a future where we are able to underpay and treat our employees as the scum that they are, but other corporations pay their employees fair wages so that they have the money to buy our products.

We envision a future in which our executives and management can live and vacation in a pristine, natural, and healthy environment, but we are free to pollute and lay waste to those god-forsaken places we would never venture to.

We envision a future in which political leaders are wise stewards of the national budget, except when it comes to things that would benefit our corprorate goals (then they act like cheap whores).

We envision a future in which Third World labor is so cheap that we ship our office coffee makers overseas to be cleaned.

We envision a future in which our top executives are free to spit on employees of all races, creeds, genders, sexual-orientations, and ethnic backgrounds.

We envision a future in which the death, maiming,or casual beating of an employee is just a commonly accepted part of doing business.

We envision a future in which our executives can take any brainless drug-induced financial risk they care to because the government will always be there to bail us out.

We envision a future in which all types and levels of media are controled by people who think just like us.