By Bill Kyle, CEO, BLANDX

We here at BLANDX would be nothing if it weren't for the respect the DX world has for our integrity. Unforunately, we have violated that sacred trust and as CEO it's my job to apologize. It has recently come to our attention that for the past 17 issues QSL editor Ray Framus has been reusing columns from the 1970s. I put an immediate stop to this and in order to show Ray the error of his ways, I'm reducing his annual bonus by 10%. He's lucky he's in in upper management and not an hourly employee, so he gets to keep his job. Needless to say WNYW, ETLF, and Radio Station Peace and Progress have not reactivated.

Also, there won't be a Sleazy Listening column this time. Art Purdy wrote me to say that his computer has worms. The crap you put up with in my job...

Now, let's dip into the mailbag...

Long-time member Ross Moss writes

I've been having some heart problems and the doctor wants me to get a pacemaker. Will this cause QRM to my receiver?
Well, Ross, I don't rightly know but having seen your logs I don't think it will make much difference. As Dillon Hollister once pointed out, you're one of those people for whom it's an intellectual achievement when you get your shoes on the right feet.

Member Mabel Warner of Bushyhead, Oklahoma writes,

Jack Bradbury's article last month on building an antenna tuner with a variable capacitor and a plastic project box was mostly easy to follow. But, it did contain the line "tightly insert the shaft into the hole in the box." Does he have any videos showing how he inserts his shaft into the hole? I'd like to show them to my boyfriend. He has trouble with this sort of thing and misses over half the time. It's no wonder my knobs always feel loose.
Well, Mabel, Jack says he does have some videos that he like to show you, but I'm not putting links to those here. Oh, and Mabel, you really didn't need to send me the pictures.

In an e-mail, Carl Jagger states

What this hobby needs is a receiver with a built-in cup holder.
Personally, I prefer to wear my cup while DXing. I've got a St. Bernard and you never know what he's going to do. He's knocked the antenna tuner onto my lap more than once. It's really easy to miss an ID when that happens.

Luke Winkler asks

One of the guys who comes to our DXpeditions has lice. If we're DXing Central African stations, is it OK to pick the lice off him and eat them? Or should we ask him for permission first?
If they're head or body lice, go ahead and eat them. But, if they're pubic lice I would definitely ask for permission first.

Ralph Dorn of Ten Sleep, Wyoming asks

In order to improve the self-respect I have for myself as a DXer, I've been learning all the Q codes. In another DX publication, I saw a mention of QRHam. What does that one mean?
I'm not sure why they would write about that in a DX publication, but here in Minnesota that's what we call ham from a Gay pig. My cousin Barnie has a farm, and that's more common that you would think. Not that I don't respect pigs of alternate sexual orientations. They all taste the same to me.

In other letters, Frank Sloan of the Arizona Society of Serious DXers says that their DXpedition to Sandwich Landing, Nevada was a success except that they got very cold after the burner ran out of natural gas on Saturday evening. Gee, Frank, at the DXpeditions I attend there's always plenty of natural gas.

A special message for Lance Burdett: We've had the same problems while grayline DXing at our DXpeditions. We finally solved it by requiring everyone to put on a haz-mat suit an hour before sunset. Since then we've only had a few minor incidents.

Finally, I need to finish with some sad news. Long time member Earl Bradley of Licking, Missouri passed away on March 15th. He was celebrating his 75th birthday by staying up all night DXing just like he used to do in the old days. Unfortunately sometime after logging Mauritania (positive ID) at 0715 UTC, he fell asleep and strangled himself in his own headphone cord. Earl will be missed by all as he always brought several cases of beer to BLANDXFest.