NEWS FROM OTHER (INFERIOR) DX CLUBS
Editor: Don Badger
First, some news from right here at BLANDX. Awards Chairman Glenn Glick informs me that due to the decreasing number of SWBC stations, the requirements for our highest DX award - Supreme Awe-Inspiring DXpert Worshipped by All - have been lowered. He says that the new requirements are "knowing the names of five former SWBC stations." That should be do-able for many BLANDX members as long as Alzheimers hasn't set in yet.
Speaking of Alzheimers, the Association of DXers with Alzheimers hasn't published a bulletin for over two years. Does anyone know what's going on there?
News From Regional Clubs
The Wyoming United Shortwave Society (WUSS) will be holding their annual Chablis & Quiche Banquet on July 15th in Bill, WY. In place of a keynote speaker, several members will perform the club's new DX musical, Wires From Heaven.
The Colorado Association of DXers (CADs) journeyed to remote Manahattan Island for their annual DXpedition in January. Unfortunately, they were not permitted to erect beverage antennas in the open area at the south end of the island and DXing overall was disappointing. Two members also suffered unfortunate accidents because of the unavailibility of public restrooms.
The annual Inca Kola Cook-Off held by the Southern Mississippi Union of Tuners (SMUT) is the premiere cooking contest for DXers in North America. Their website has the winning recipes from recent years, including Inca Kola Pound Cake and Inca Kola Barbecue Sauce. The sauce is very tasty on guinea pig, according to Dan Muir.
The Minnesota Union of Listening Enthusists (MULE) has published a pamphlet titled DXpeditions and the Culinary Arts. Topics include the advantages of different types of can-openers and measuring throbbage. The latter article includes a very useful table for calculating temperture in Fahrenheit by counting the number of throbs per minute.
According to a phone call from Max Rogers of the Association of Illiterate DXers, they still haven't found any qualified editors for their bulletin.
The Department of English at Slippery Rock State University in Pennsylvania is sponsoring an essay contest. In 2,000 to 3,000 words, you should write on the topic Compare DXing to Nailing Jello to a Tree. The contestant who writes the
most emotionally moving work will win a gift basket of used literature text books.
All DXers are invited to Duck End, Essex, England to participate in the annual ping pong (table tennis) tournament sponsored by The Associated Essex DXers. The club motto is We Really Know How to Handle Our Knobs.
Sam Lutton of The North Central Ohio DX Club and Prostate Support Group tells me that they are sponsoring a fund-raising pool. At $2 per entry, participants are to guess which will be the last SWBC station to broadcast in English to North America. The winner will get a truck load of used shortwave receivers collected from the losers.
European Club News
Our European correspondent, Takeshi Nakamura, tells us that the Medium Wave Circle has expanded and is now an oval. Their long range goal is to become a hexagon. Meanwhile, the Benelux DX Club has restructured and now focuses on selling Belgian waffles through mail order. In order to increase sales, this years DSWCI Domestic Broadcasting Survey with come with a dozen cheese-filled pastries. If you can't DX you might as well eat.
In Finland they take their DXing seriously, which is why they may be the only place on earth with a statue commemorating a DXer. On March 8th of this year, Finnish DXers commemorated the 75th anniversary of Tapio Virolainen becoming the first Finnish DXer to freeze to death on a DXpedition north of Artic Circle. Today he is remembered by this statue in the northern city of Inari. By tradition on this night, Finnish DXers stay up all night drinking and DXing while wearing nothing but a wool jock strap. Mixed drinks can only be prepared by stirring them with the shaft of a very large variable capacitor.
In the past twenty years, it has been increasingly common to also celebrate by making insulting phone calls to Danish DXers, Denmark being the only Nordic nation to have never sacrificed one of its own on a DXpedition. (The Danes do have Radulf Halvorsen, who had both feet amputated in 1972 after getting severe frostbite while reeling out a 1200 meter beverage antenna across a frozen lake bed while barefoot. But, that's not enough to quiet a drunken Finnish DXer on this night of national pride.) I had the good fortune to be in Finland for Tapio Virolainen day in 1997 and I still have fond memories of what happened up until about 1 a.m.
Other Club News
In a joint communique, the Association of Fundamentalist Christian DXers and the Fundamentalist Islamic Radio Union state that each has found verses in their scriptures to justify the public stoning of list-loggers. In a remarkable display of inter-faith cooperation, they have pledged to hold joint stonings twice a year.