Listener's Trashbag

Editor: Sven Gonzalez

Longtime readers of my columns will note a new addtion to the grammatical rules of the SvEnglish dialect that I am developing. The new rule is that when a verb + following preposition form a unit in standard English, the preposition becomes a prefix of the verb in SvEnglish. For example, If you find my DX information valuable, then this is just something you must upwithput. My long term goal in developing SvEnglish is that someday my monolingual English speaking readers will understand more of the untranslated items I cut-and-paste from Swahili-speaking DX clubs than they do of the actual English used in my column. A side benefit of this is that if I start to go senile, none of you will even notice it. Yes, it's a twofer! Please check the section at the bottom of this column for advance notification of upcoming additions to the grammatical rules of SvEnglish.


INBOOMING DX NEWS

CANADA (CBC) Contrary to the report in your last column, our CBC logo is not a secret symbol for Satanic worship. You're confusing us with CFRX. (Dan Fontenelle, CBC, Toronto)

CLANDESTINE - Radio Liberation of Tadzhikistan will no longer broadcast in Tadzhik due to a lack of staff members who speak the language. Broadcasts will continue in English. (Baffin Island DX Club via Horace Morris)
- Voice of Tadzhik Liberation will no longer broadcast in Tadzhik due to a lack of staff members who speak the language. Broadcasts will continue in Russian (Society of Existential DXers)

EGYPT - Beginning in September, 2009, Radio Cairo will unbroadcast in Pashto and Guarani. (sg)

GREECE (former) - This country will now be known as The Former Ottoman Empire Province of Greece (DX Suggestion) In other words, they will uncontinue to be known as Greece (sg)

INDIA - All India Radio will reduce all transmitter powers by 10%. To upmake the difference, the announcers will shout into the microphone (Journal of Icelandic Stomatology) They could accomplish the same savings by making the broadcasts ten percent shorter and just having the announcers talk faster. That's what Radio Kuwait did last year. (sg)

SINGAPORE - Radio Singapore International has had its budget reduced by 10%. Instead of playing music from CDs, they will shorten broadcast times by only playing 33 1/3 RPM records at 45 RPM. (Radio Damascus Monitoring Service via Bill Dernoof via Radio Damascus Monitoring Service) Bill Dernoff also notes that he has still unQSLed this station. (sg)

UKOGBANI - The BBC Fisheries Station has started a new Cod and Haddock Division to supervise broadcasts to the North Atlantic. (Swedish DX Commando)
- Due to shorter attention spans among listeners, The World Today will henceforth be called The World This Hour. (via Rocking Chair DX) That's a great word, henceforth. But, it really should be spelled hence4th. (sg)


OUTBOOMING DX NEWS

AUSTRALIA - Radio Australia has fired its entire team of news readers. All news scripts are now read by a computer text-to-speech system.(Bureau of DX Haberdashery) Apparently the computer was made in Taiwan as it has a definte Chinese accent.(Dillon Hollister)

BRAZIL - Phil Candaro's guess is correct. Radio Clube de Varginha really is named after a female body part. (Dan Muir)

CLANDESTINE - Programming on the Voice of Mediocrity continues to be uninspiring (Baffin Island DX Club)
- Radio Liberation of Somewhere continues to refine its mission statement, after which a target audience will be identified. (Girls and Corpses magazine via my cousin the undertaker)

CZECH REPUBLIC - Due to budget cuts, Radio Prague's broadcasts are to be cut back from 27 minutes to 17 minutes. Listeners are asked to spend the missing ten minutes fantasizing about the Czech Republic. (Luna DX) That fantasizing would be a lot easier if they put the right kind of pictures on the website.(Carson Humboldt)

LATIN AMERICA - In a recent agreement reached by the Association of Latin American Broadcasters, radio stations have agreed to randomly play each other's national anthems at sign-on and sign-off. ALAB President Jaime Perez explained, We've been looking for a way to mess with DXers' minds for years. This should do it. (Assn of Carnivorous DXers)

PERU - Radio Vision is now Radio Contactos (DX Tortilla via Ryan Finelli)

RUSSIA Voice of Russia - Does anyone else wish that VoR would rerun some old Radio Moscow programs from the 1960s? (Jack Mann)

SLOVAKIA Radio Slovakia International will not be publishing a frequency schedule for the next broadcast period. Instead they will hold a Where's Radio Slovakia International? contest where the first listener to submit a complete and accucrate schedule of their English language broadcasts will win a gift box of Slovakian undergarments. (DX Repression via an anonymous letter that was sent postage due, the swine)

SWITZERLAND - The Swiss Broadcasting Corporation is undergoing a major crisis as they no longer have any SWBC transmitter sites that they can close down to save money. They are currently holding talks with Radio Bulgaria about closing the Varna transmitter site. SBC Chief Financial Officer Bernard Andrist explains, It won't save us any money, but it sure makes everyone here feel good when we close down another transmitter site. (Sheep! magazine via former Ohio Governor Bob Taft)

USA - WMST is a new station from Redmond, Washington, owned and operated by Microsoft. Nominally on 24 hours a day on 7775 kHz, but frequently goes off air briefly for no apparent reason. (DX Illusionary Digest) Reportedly they also use 13775, but I have untuned it in. (sg)

VATICAN CITY - Vatican Radio will now issue kosher QSLs on request. (Society of Existential DXers via Ted Kirley) It's not surprising that they have availabilized this service now that there is a bagel shop in Vatican City. (sg)


CREATING WEALTHY LAWYERS

CANADA - The Association of Municipal Governments for Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia is suing the NASWA Country List Committee to get separate radio country status for Cape Breton Island. The main town of Sydney was the site of a SWBC station on 6010 khz through the 1970s. Ian MacNCheese, mayor of the nearby town of Donkin explained Newfoundland has separate radio country status and we're just as good as those inbred cod-eaters. (Scandinavian Dieters' DX Review) NASWA wouldn't have this problem if they adopted the BLANDX Country List standard that no radio country can be more than one square kilometer in size (Jack Mann)

PIRATE RADIO - The Professional Association of North American Pirate Broadcasters is suing the government of Somalia for giving piracy a bad name. (Yemeni Review of DX Law)

USA/CANADA - The hostile takeover bid of CHU by WWV announced two weeks ago may not be a slam-dunk after all. ODXA Inc. of Ontario has just offered $23.75/share, which is a full $2.00 higher than WWV's offer. (Union of Exiled Ugandan DX Clubs)


SOMEBODY ELSE SCREWED UP

INDONESIA Voice of Indonesia - I have one correction to the details in last month's program listing. "Our Favorite Amphibians" is not a nature show, but rather a cooking show. (Jack Mann) Sounds like I need to start listening to this one! Does anyone else miss the guinea pig recipes on HCJB's Cooking in the Andes series? (sg)

NETHERLANDS - Radio Netherlands is recalling all printed frequency schedules for the current period. Due to a computer glitch, all the frequencies were printed in binary numbers. (DX Culinary Digest) What a relief! I thought I was going to have to buy a new radio. (sg)

PERU - The Peruvian station reported on 5970 should have been listed as Radio El Sol, not Radio Ly Sol. (Swedish DX Commando)

USA - Last month's report that Rush Limbaugh would be guest-hosting four editions of Glenn Hauser's World of Radio program in the summer of 2009 were incorrect. (Boris Barrios)


YOUR SESQUI-WORD OF THE DAY

Sesquiqueer: Someone who likes to play on both sides of the fence without committing themselves to either one. See also sesquigay, sesquisexual or my cousin Juan Larson.


4THCOMING RULES OF SvENGLISH

(To be effective beginning 1 July 2009)

1) Articles will be used as suffixes of the nouns they modify.
Example: I need pencila. Where is paperthe?

2) The ing suffix will become a distinct word and will come before the verb when used as a present participle.
Example: While Fred was ing listen to radiothe he upthrew his lunch.

3) The word will denoting future tense should be changed to william in formal settings.
Example: When william Queenthe remove her dentures?

4) The ed suffix denoting past tense will become edward in formal settings.
Example: Queenthe chewedward raw meatthe with her dentures.

Proposed rules for the use of possessive and demonstrative pronouns are ing 4thcome.