FROM THE CEO
By Bill Kyle, CEO, BLANDX
Several members have written to express concern over reports that BLANDX board meetings have degenerated into bitter insult-hurling contests and that board members accomplish nothing because they are too busy thinking of how to derail the other side. There were some issues but we are over them now. Recent board meetings have shown significant improvements in civility and cooperation. For example, at our last board meeting Bill Rumbley called Sven Gonzalez "herring breath." That's the first time in at least three years that Bill has called Sven something that I could put in the bulletin. If that's not improved civility, I don't know what is. I'm not sure what Sven said back as it was a mix of Swedish and Spanish but I did pick out the word "cucaracha".
We've been informed by his family that member Todd Higgins of Loup City, NE recently passed away. I remember Todd well from the several BLANDXFests that he attended. He was the kind of guy who gives flatulence a bad name.
Member Mabel Warner of Bushyhead, OK writes I don't care if you do spell the word the fancy French way, that listing of VOLMET stations in last month's bulletin was disgusting. I hear all the regurgitation I want at the annual church picnic. Potato salad left out in the sun too long will do that to you. Mabel, the problem with you Baptists is that you don't drink. A little alcohol will kill anything that's in that potato salad.
At just 16 years old, Brad Gilman of Cutting, NY is one of our youngest members. He writes that his goal is to be a great DXer in the BLANDX tradition and he would like advice on reaching that goal. Well, Brad, you have to put time into the hobby. Don't listen to your parents when they say they want to be grandparents someday. Sixteen is the perfect age for a vasectomy and it will do wonders for your DXing in the long run. If you were a few years younger I would suggest an even more radical procedure. Clay Hastings had that done when he was eleven and look at how much time he has for DXing ... even if he does talk with that squeaky voice.
At the other end of the age spectrum, long-time member Horace Morris of Mars Hill, Maine writes I've been DXing for over thirty years, which should make me an Advanced DXer. But, that doesn't sound right because I've only heard 18 countries. According to the BLANDX DXer Classification System, anyone with less than 30 countries heard is a Beginner. That doesn't sound right either. So, what kind of DXer am I? Keith, I talked your case over with the Board. After a complete examination of the facts, we unanamously agreed to classify you as an Intermidiot DXer. And that's just another example of the increased civility at board meetings.
Mort Haverford of Prosperity, SC asks Logs of stations in Papua-New Guinea often mention Tok Pisin. What does that mean? Mort, that's local New Guinea slang for "Talk While Pissing." That's how radio announcers there demonstrate their manliness. The longer you can keep it going the more manly you are. Of coure they drink a lot of water. This is why most PNG radio announcers die from worn-out kidneys before they turn forty. The practice originated in Australia in the 1950s but was banned there in 1983. Long time DXers can remember of the good old days when the Radio Australia mailbag program was in Tok Pisin. I remember once that Keith Glover got through eight letters before he stopped.
MORE CLUB STUFF
Long time DXer and BLANDX co-founder Jack Bradbury is celebrating his 50th year in the hobby this year. He's been in the hobby for 54 years, but we all kind of forgot about it, including Jack. We'll be holding a party for him at the next BLANDXFest. Be sure to check the gift registry at Universal Shortwave for ideas.
An update to last month's information about the upoming BLANDXFest. Hermann Motel manager Karunesh Jayaraman confirms that there were no typos. Dessert at the banquet will be "bitter pecan" ice cream.
Several month's ago BLANDX's marketing department decided that we need a lovable fuzzy animal mascot to represent us. We then held a vote to select which of several animals that would be. We reported last month that sloth had won by by one hundred percent of the vote by write-in. That vote has now been nullified as it turns out that the ballot box was stuffed by my wife.
Next month we will have an article by Phil Candaro on How to Improve Your QSL Return Rate With Skype Video Calls and Hypnotism and Don Badger will explain why it's not a good idea to take laxatives on a DXPedition.