The DIAL-A-CURSE LIST |
In hopes of putting civility amoung DXers at the same level that is found in the U.S. House of Representatives, BLANDX is happy to bring you this list of ways to comment on the abilities of other hobbyists.
He or she never learned how to spell BBC.
His or her dial light is burned out.
His or her digitial readout is kind of dim.
His or her Q-Multiplier can barely add.
He or she has a few tubes that need to be replaced.
Most of his or her QSLs were issued out of pity.
He or she has a blown front-end FET
His or her antenna doesn't tune to the top of the band
His or her rotor doesn't point in all directions
His or her ground rod isn't pounded all the way in
His or her DXpedition kit is missing a few adapters
He or she regularly list-logs
He or she is a few QSLs short of a Worked All Illinois
He or she is not the strongest signal on the band
His or her logs are missing the time date and frequency
He or she has the mental agility of a small ferrite rod
He or she thinks Radio Habana Cuba is DX
Such in fact, is the cluelessness of his or her DX knowledge that he or she believes Tristan da Cunha is still on 3290
He or she has enough grease in his or her hair to start a small fire
He or she is transmitting out of band
His or her halitosis could be used as a demolition tool to prevent an R-390A from falling into enemy hands
Such in fact, is the unpleasantness of his or her odor, that in his or her presence, small woodland and domestic animals give thought to the preparation of their wills (OK this one isn't specific to DXers, and is blatantly stolen from a National Lampoon Radio Hour skit from the 1970s, but I don't care -- I really like this insult!)
He or she is running in lower sideband
His or her capacitor is leaking.
His or her tuning knob is askew.
He or she thinks 'Static' is a town in Tennessee.
His or her comprehension is at noise level.
He or she always fades at the top of the hour.
His or her resistors are a tad too conductive.
His or her coils are wound a little too tight.
His or her coils are wound a little too loose.
His or her capacitors are leaky.
His or her alignment is a few kHz off.
His or her beverage has gone flat.
His or her dipole is a leg short.
His or her signal to noise ratio is a negative number
He or she never submits his or her loggings to the TipSheet
His or her camping lamp needs pumping / a new propane cylinder
The filaments of his or her tubes have burned out
His or her All American Five radio has only 4 tubes left /
He or she is a 35W4 short of an All American 5
As for his or her DX knowledge, suffice it to say that if it isn't on the Internet he or she considers it unimportant
His or her diode has only one prong.
He or she puts the pee in impedance.
He or she puts the dull in modulation.
His or her silent period isn't long enough.
His guy wire isn't long enough.
His or her power cord has a short.
His or her knobs don't turn.
He or she puts the ass in NASWA.
His or her antenna line is a few inches short of the jack