HAUSER DAY CELEBRATIONS

As you prepare for your own special celebration of Glenn's birthday, we here at BLANDX thought you might want to know how Hauser Day is celebrated in some other parts of the world.

UNITED STATES

The celebrations in the small towns of the Midwest and Great Plains are especially picturesque. The days leading up to Hauser Day are full of joy and wonder for all. The day before, all the housewives make sure to clean all the floors in their house with their International Vacuum. Preparations are made for the next days' traditional meals of DXpedition Beanie Weenies and anchovies. (A more modern practice is to have traditional UKOGBANIAN food.)

Finally, the day everyone has been anticipating arrives. There'll be no silly ball games today! Children and parents greet one another with Happy Hauser Day! May the UKOGBANI be with you! For breakfast, there is the traditional sesqui-pancakes and sesqui liter of orange juice. Then the children are off to school and the adults off to work. In the streets, everyone is wishing one another a Happy Hauser Day. Not much gets done at most places of employment, what with anticipation of the evening festivities and everyone trying to see who can come up with the best DX tip to e-mail Glenn for his birthday.

In the afternoon, school teachers put aside the text books and the children spend the remainder of the day playing DX games such as Pin the Logging on the Passport, or card games like Crazy 31 Metres or Go Log VoA. The highlight of the annual Hauser day celebrations is the Hauser Bee, which usually happens at a community center or school auditorium about 7 p.m. The rules of a Hauser Bee are just like a traditional spelling bee, except all words must be spelled the way Glenn would spell them, e.g. chex, thinx, intersexion, blox, etc. Usually by 8:30 p.m., a winner has been crowned with the traditional wreath made out of headphones and antenna wire. The celebrations end with several hours of dancing around the dipole, usually lasting until early the next morning. Once the children are in bed, the fathers and mothers often finish the festivities with a game of Hide the Hans Johnson rod.

MEXICO

In Mexico, El Dia de Hauser is an exciting time for children. The main festivities are held in the central plaza of each town. At precisely 1630 UTC large piñatas shaped just like Glenn's DX enemies are brought out and the children begin beating the piñtas with sticks, bats, and whatever else is at hand. There isn't candy in these piñatas. The joy comes from honoring Glenn by beating the crap out of his rivals.

UKOGBANI

It will come as no surprise to anyone that some of the most colorful and elaborate celebrations of Hauser Day are in UKOGBANI. In this column, we're just going to dwell on one part of UKOGBANIAN Hauser Day traditions - the radio hat. In some areas the hats are rather simple homemade affairs. To the right, DXer John Martin of Kent models a typical style from southeastern UKOGBANI.

As we move further north in UKOGBANI, the hats become more complex. DXer Ian Alsebrook of Warwickshire has worn this hat for over two decades on Hauser day.

In northern UKOGBANI, homemade Hauser Day radio hats become less common and even unacceptable. Northerners often look down on the homemade hats of the southerners. Instead, northerners prefer to wear professionally made hats and caps. The cap at the right is made by a small haberdashery in Lincolnshire and quite common in that area.

Scotland is home to the most elaborate UKOGBANIAN radio hats. Here DXer Liam Ferguson of Dundee models the traditional Scottish radio hat, based on a pith helmet.

In this picture, the Duchess of Glasgow-on-the-Rocks is wearing a very stylish red Hauser Day radio hat. The Duchess served as Chairwoman of the UKOGBANI Hauser Day Commission from 2001 to 2005.

That radio hat tradition has made its way to other parts of the UKOGBANIAN Commonwealth. Not surprisingly, given the strong presence of DXing here, Hauser Day is especially strong in New Zealand. Carl Erskine, pictured here, was elected Hauser Day King in Auckland in 2004. He is pictured here in the traditional Auckland King's Hat.